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About Deviant StrifebladeMale/United States Groups :iconheartofjapan: HeartOfJapan
Bringing Japan on the net.
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Since Robin Williams died. I know it may seem odd that I'm doin' this, but I feel a strong urge to make this journal simply because I've always felt that Robin Williams meant a lot to me; as a hero of mine. Having Aspergers and Depression makes for a shitty combination, as will many other such combinations. Watching Robin Williams though, I really connected to him. His energetic, quirky, and off the wall comedy style was something that I and many others were attracted too. But for me, it went deeper. That was the kind of comedy I was prone to using, granted I may not be the most skilled by any means. I saw myself in Williams; an off color and all around weird guy. I remember so many nights in my childhood where I'd finish the evening by watching Aladdin, Mrs Doubtfire, or Hook. And in later years, watching Good Will Hunting, the Birdcage, and Dead Poet's society. Here was a guy completely not giving a shit about what people thought of him. Someone who embraced his inner spark of madness so wholly and made no attempt to hide it. That really clicked for me since I've struggled with being socially stunted, finding it immensely difficult to find friends and even just talking to people without being that one weird guy. Hell, I've still got a lot of hangups about it these days. But with Williams, it was so hard not to be charmed by him, by the thought that someone made people laugh because he was weird. But not because he was that loon at the side of the street cracking shit jokes all the time, but a man who amused people by channeling that weird offbeat energy into funny hilarious shit jokes.

That so inspired me. To this day, watching Robin Williams' comedy still makes me think "God, if people can laugh with a guy like that, than maybe I have hope. That would be enough."

His death was devastating. Depression, Lewy Diffuse Body Syndrome, and Parkinson's all wrapped up into one crippling package. I grieved for a good week or so. I mean what the hell? That's not right! That's SO not right!!!!! THAT'S FUCKING NOT FAIR!!!! We can't lose a person like Robin. Not someone like him. Not someone with that kind of energy, kindness, optimism, and passion. To lose that kind of spirit.

The depression I couldn't believe. Robin was depressed? Now I realize that the way I handle my depression. Don't show it. Don't burden others. Just package it down into your psyche and smile. Y'know just do what the people say and don't be sad. It hurts. In a way I'm amazed that Robin survived for as long as he did with that kind of depression and the knowledge of what he was eventually going to become. A shell. Good days and Bad. Lucid and coalesced and diffused amongst the ethereal empty spaces in his brain.

Sometimes I fantasize that Robin is still here. That someone gives him a hug and tells him to talk as much as he needs to.

To one of a kind people.
  • Mood: Unhappy
  • Listening to: Led Zeplin, Breaking Benjamin
  • Watching: Netflix
  • Playing: Batman Arkham Knight, Lego Hobbit
  • Drinking: Nectar from the freshest goddamn stream of life!


UlitmaSephiroth's Profile Picture
United States
I'm half japanese, a great source of pride to myself. I love Japan not only for its comics and pop culture but for its cultural beauty and elegant history and my personal connection to that beautiful land in the east. I'm a bit of a procrastinator but I try hard to get stuff done so I can pursue my actual interest(s). I've been practicing martial arts (Kenpo) for 10 years now and have almost gotten my black belt (I'm at junior black which is pretty damn close) and is the one skill I've spent enough time honing and practicing to actually get good at it. It is my dream to visit Japan someday.

Favourite genre of music:I fall back on Rock in general. Anything from soft to alt to straight up hard rock
Favourite style of art: anything that looks good
MP3 player of choice: Zen
Favourite cartoon character: Hinata Hyuuga, Ryou Fujibayashi, Cloud, Sephiroth, Saito Hajime
Personal Quote: I'm not better than everyone else, your all just lesser than me

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Journal History


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slivovayaSva Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2015  Student Interface Designer
Thank you for watch :3
NoEelys Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer

Thank you for watching my gallery! 
I hope you'll enjoy what's coming next... Let me know ^^

Just so you know, I'm quite late here and I don't always publish it all, 
so if you want to see more photographs without waiting for so long, here are the two other options :

• my own website, my own little world (NEW) :

• my Facebook public page, where there's pretty much everything and which is always updated :… :facebook:

Have a nice day,

Nö Eelys

Kitten-Bomb Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015
Hello there =D (Big Grin)
Thank you very much for the fav!
Chinatsu Yoshikawa (Fangirling) [V1]
sirenabonita Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2015
Yancon Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch.
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